Take a look around. There’s a reason for the venomous comments, and it’s definitely not you.
Are you tired of the age-old sayings about Bahrain? No jobs, no improvement in living standards, infrastructure is sad compared to Dubai, high prices, etc.?
The news isn’t any better. Parliament members are working for personal gain, the cost of goods is on the rise, meat is scarce ahead of Ramadan, sectarian violence occurs, the crime rate is up, and so on. What’s the typical Bahraini reaction to headlines/tweets/posts like these? A few strong comments on social media and a quick round of the “blame game” between a few people.
With all the hubbub surrounding the negative aspects of living in Bahrain, it can (and quite often does) get to you—even if you are the poster boy/girl for positive living. No one is immune.
This fact is made worse when the moment something positive happens in your life, people come out of the woodwork trying to put you down or point out something negative about your little “success”.
Since I was born and raised here in Bahrain, I can only speak about Bahrainis. Somehow, we are wired to put people down in a very bizarre and, quite frankly, disgusting way.
“This fact is made worse when the moment something positive happens in your life, people come out of the woodwork trying to put you down or point out something negative about your little “success”
Example: “Ahmed just opened up a new business, and it’s doing well. I just saw it on Instagram.”
Typical Bahraini responses:
I know Ahmed; he was in my school. How did that idiot start a business? He was the dumbest kid in class.
You know he’s divorced? I heard he slept around and got caught.
He bought all his followers.
Know where Ahmed lives? Let’s kill him.
Okay, the last one is a little exaggerated—but you get the point.
It is quite normal to hear negative comments or receive bad news. The thing is, depending how you deal with it, it can either get to you—or you can glide past it, allowing it to leave you unscathed.
The latter is much, much easier said than done.
So with all this negativity swirling in front of your eyes every day, what’s an innocent Bahraini to do?
The thing is, when we leave our minds on autopilot, most of the time we end up crashing. What I have found to be the perfect solution (for me, at least) is to be conscious of my thoughts ALL THE TIME. Whenever a negative thought creeps in and tries to fester, think about it logically, and force it out once and for all. It is, after all, just a thought.
“The thing is, when we leave our minds on autopilot, most of the time we end up crashing.”
Mark Twain said it best: “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
It’s all in the state of mind. I’ve had to learn this the hard way, and I still have a long way to go. We are all susceptible to feeling down and out every now and then. The easiest solution is to have something akin to horse blinkers for your mind. They’re the things that are fixed next to horses’ eyes to prevent them from being distracted and help them to walk a straight line. We need someone to invent those for humans. We might look silly for a while, but wait till it catches on…just like every other fashion trend.
In Bahrain, we’ve all had the same upbringing, more or less, and we have varying degrees of similarity when it comes to thoughts and ideals involving religion or culture. What we don’t have is adequate life experience. People are aware of this, and every Tom, Dick, and Harry is now a certified “life coach” (through one of the strictest governing bodies in existence, Instagram) trying to capitalize financially upon your apparent “mess of a life.”
Life experience is pretty much gained through living. That’s right—just living. You will go through a hell of a lot of crap a lot of the time, and some of it will be your fault; at other times, it will be other people’s fault. Face it: that’s life. No 20-something “life-coach” will prepare you for it.
Negative comments from others? Know that they are always, always said out of some sort of insecurity within the speaker. People put other people down to make themselves feel better. You should know this, always.
I don’t have idols per se in my life, but there is one thing I strive for, and that’s being someone who deals well with negativity. There are certain people in life (and I’m sure you know a few yourselves) with David Copperfield levels of magic when it comes to dealing with negativity and bad news. They brush it off so easily, and you can see them not even blink. It is literally a sight to behold—to me, anyway.
When I ask how they do it, their response always revolves around the same concept: life is too short to live on autopilot, and it’s definitely too short to spend thinking about every little detail that “seemingly” stands in the way of your success. By the little details, I mean people badmouthing you, troubles at work, competition, etc. Certain people can belittle the details most of us consider catastrophes—and therein lies the solution to their life problems. Their trick is simple: be in the moment, and know that all problems are ultimately manageable.
By: Ammar Alraees
